5 Ways You May Be Lingering & How It’s Wrecking Your Destiny



Lingering (adj.): Lasting for a long time or slow to end.

Last night, I went to bed early (completely by accident).

This morning, my alarm went off at 5:15 AM…in the kitchen.

Rolls back over and drifts off.

Then, it went off again.

Sits up and looks at bedroom clock…


Lays back down and wonder how in the world did I fall asleep at 10PM????

Knowing I could get up and I should get up…I lay back down. Alarm goes off again. 5:25.

Brandi, you’re not even sleepy….just get up.

Finally, I got up at 5:30.

All that lingering for nothing…hmph. Once I got out of the bed, cracked open my Bible, and begin to think about my day, I realized that my 15 minute debate with myself was a snapshot of how I had handled other, bigger situations in my life. Ya know, knowing what I should do, but laying there doing the wrong thing over and over again. I begin to think about all the ways we linger…


Remember that friendship that should’ve ended, but didn’t? Remember how it got worse and worse until you were forced to end it. Perhaps, the two of you would still be cool if you carefully determined his/her position in your life. In The Necessity of An Enemy, Ron Carpenter, Jr. says that we can turn our friends into enemies by being unwilling to discern their role. For example, if I bring a co-worker into my personal life and she is not supposed to be there, I can ruin a good thing at work. It’s hard because that person was extremely cool and you got greedy. I get it. I can get carried away, too, but don’t turn a good thing bad by lack of boundaries and wisdom.

2. Romantic Relationships

You know you’re not supposed to be with him. No matter how many times you justify it, how hard you try to make him change, how many excuses you make for his (or both of y’all’s) behavior, you know that if God presented you with a husband, it would not be him. But, look at all the damage that’s being done as you linger. I did everything to keep an ex. I bought a new Bible, went to the altar, even convinced myself that I was a better Christian. SMH. Letting go will hurt for a little while. But, once you’ve moved on, you won’t even be able to recognize the you who wanted to stay. I have stomach-churning, disgusted what was I thinking?! moments all of the time. You will, too.

3. Sin

Let me start by saying that sin is fun, at least for a little while. No one is out there thinking, “Man, do I love angering God! Whoooo-hoo!!!” or, “I can’t wait to drink so much I can’t walk and vomit all over my shoes! Yes! We sin because it feels good. But, there comes a time when you know the gig is up. God has given you a vision of the plans He has for you and you know that you can’t continue to engage in that sin AND walk in your purpose. If you’re finding it hard to resist that sin, tell someone who you will allow to hold you accountable and remind you what’s at stake.

3. Comfort

Just because it’s not a sin doesn’t mean you should be doing. Also, just because other people can get away with doing it doesn’t mean you should be doing it.  Create a mission statement for your life and look at the current way you’re living. Is how you’re living right now taking you closer to that vision? In some ways, maybe….other ways, not so much. It’s okay! That just means we have to work to do!

4. Job

This one’s a doozy because it’s your livelihood. Just make sure you aren’t operating in a scarcity mentality. Meaning, you really feel like this is the only job that’ll pay you x amount of dollars, you don’t have any other skills, you’re too old to start over, etc. That’s not what my Bible says. At some point, the sacrifice is too much. Like, when I dreaded Monday mornings or not seeing my child until dinner time or even being bullied. I’m not telling you to quit tomorrow, but if your job steals your joy and peace, why not start working on that resume, spruce up that LinkedIn profile, hire a career coach, join a meetup group that specializes in those skills you don’t have or need to work on, etc. Never forget that YOU have the power to change your life. (P.S. If you need help with any of this, shoot me an email.) 

5. Physical Places

Well, now, it’s time to think about that move, Ma’am.

Often times, it’s hard for people who are too familiar with you to see God’s call on your life. Moving to Guam was one of the richest experiences of my life. I’ve heard that when you’re isolated, you know that God is at work. And, I know that to be true. My relationship with God was strengthened in Guam. My confidence and self-esteem was restored in Guam. When it’s morning in Guam, it’s the evening in South Carolina. So, I didn’t have everyone in my ear, but what I did have was God’s Word. Reading it and praying it helped me believe in myself again. Woman, Live! is 100% the result of the work God and I did in Guam.

The cherry on top was my  able to meet people from all different walks of life. I have so many experiences to reference because of that move. In fact, I appreciate being home in South Carolina and my family so much more now that I’ve experienced life half way around the world.

I’m not sure why you feel the desire to relocate, but I do know that if you travel with the intention of growing from your experiences and seeing God in everything, you will be much more compassionate, open-minded, and cultured.

Whatever you’re hesitant to move forward, won’t taste as sweet in a little while. Exercise forward-thinking and make sure your decisions serve not just who you are right now, but who you are becoming.


Pick your head up and put the excuses down. You’re not alone in this. You have thousands of sisters who have been where you are and have some good advice for you!

Shoot me an email (info@womanlive.me) and tell me where you’re lingering.

Your tribe of sisters (and I) would love to weigh in….tell you how we overcame, pray for you, and offer words of encouragement. You’re not alone. And, we love you.

If you’re lingering about whether or not to join this tribe of Christian women, come on in & Join the tribe!

God built us for relationship. Not only are you going to find lots of love and support here, but you’re also going to find real, practical solutions. If you’re ready to join us, come on and say hello here.

Don’t forget to share, like & comment below!

Woman, Live!

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